I am a heterosexual woman in a long term relationship. I’ve been married for 7 years and have been having sex with only my husband for close to a decade.
I’ve always battled to have mind blowing sex with my husband since the day I took off my panties for him, took his hand and invited him to touch me. At first I put it down to nerves and accommodated his “shyness”. After a couple of very bad sexual experiences with him I resolved to teaching him how to please me. He was offended to hell and back but I persisted. Gradually he showed signs of improvement. He learnt to listen to the rhythm of our bodies and thrust accordingly.
2 years into our marriage, he stopped trying. He just thrusts away as if all he is concerned about is ejaculating now now. Sex for me is not about how quickly one can come. It is the meeting together of souls, spirits, fluids, rhythms and essences. I want my body to be worshipped through appreciation. I want to be touched, caressed, massaged and well fucked where we both come explosively. He will pinch a bit here, nibble away there and thrust with his hands up in the air like a sleazy porn star.
I have bought portions, lingerie, oils but nothing has improved. We used to watch porn together and I know he watches on his own but the sex is still mediocre. I think that my husband is afraid of improving. Afraid of fucking goodily. We’ve attended tantric sex classes. Sensual massages classes. Practiced at home but he always ends up back at the “mediocre” platform. It’s always a rush job.
My husband, a brilliant man, excellent father and dedicated husband,  refuses to be teachable in this one department. We make such a great team. We compliment each other. We have made a success of our life together against immeasurable odds. If only he could just love and appreciate my sexual beingness, and recognise the importance of my sexual fulfilment. I have spoken with him about it. His response? “My father was right, you can never please a woman.”
I have now taken matters in my own hands. I have a “Fuck” man, and boy does he know how to give AND receive! He takes his time to please and be pleased. He kisses me with the sensuality I deserve and I reciprocate. He appreciates my body, takes care of my needs and then some and I him. We see each other twice a month for earth shuttering sex, and chat daily.

Published by: Kagiso Msimango

Cheerleader & Liberator of Women Writer Speaker Mother Lactivist Personal Transformation and Development Coach Author of The Goddess Bootcamp, The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp



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