I asked a number of women (mid-20s plus) their motivations for faking orgasm.

“I do it because I want him to cum. If I tell him that I haven’t cum he’s going to try harder to make me cum by that time I’m over it and want to sleep. So I fake it. He cums. I get to sleep.”

“Used to do it when I didn’t even know what an orgasm is.. I would lie. Saw it on TV that I supposed to moan and groan when having sex. It seemed to make the guy happy. So why not?”

“When I used to it was a) to boost his ego and b) to make myself feel like I’d ‘achieved’ because Cosmo magazine told us all great sex led to orgasm.”

“Although I thoroughly enjoy good quality sex, I have never experienced an orgasm through penetration. But it seems to matter to my man that he gives an orgasm through penetration, so I fake it for his peace of mind. And we both enjoy our sexercise…”

“I fake it cos if I don’t sex will go on forever and I won’t cum,  and ‘cos tota they don’t do it right. They don’t touch me the way I like. After that I touch myself the way I want til I orgasm , then I’m happy”

“When I do not orgasm I fake it to make him cum, so we can get over and done with and sleep.”

“Because sex is a chore and you just want it to end and there are rewards for making him believe he made you come. He feels like a king and does things for you.”

“I have faked it throughout my 10 year marriage because I didn’t know how it feels like until I met one man who made me cum by just stimulating my clitoris.”

“I fake it because I want to boost his ego. If I don’t do the moaning and groaning he becomes moody like it’s my fault that I didnt cum. I once decided not to fake and just go with the flow.  No faking. He was so upset and asked me what’s “wrong” with me”

“When I was young and restless my flatmate and I used to occasionally bring boys home for sex. If the sex was really bad we would moan and scream and carry on making really loud noises, not for the benefit of the guy but for each others’ entertainment. So if I heard her moaning loudly and carrying on like a pornstar, I knew the sex was sucky. We’d have a big laugh about it the next day. The guys would be so pumped up. Although they probably caught on (or not) because we obviously wouldn’t return their calls afterwards.”


Published by: Kagiso Msimango

Cheerleader & Liberator of Women Writer Speaker Mother Lactivist Personal Transformation and Development Coach Author of The Goddess Bootcamp, The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp

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